Nurse’s Warning to Women Over 80 Who Hook a Bra Behind Them or Spin It Around (Someone Else Dresses Them Next), and the Tank They Pull On Sitting Down
After 26 years in women’s bedrooms at 8 a.m., a home care nurse names the 5 signs that come before someone else dresses you.
My name is Peggy Lawson.
I’ve been a home care nurse for 26 years. Most mornings I’m in somebody’s bedroom by 8. Almost all of my ladies are in their 70s and 80s.
Maybe you’ve noticed this in your own bedroom. Putting on a bra is harder than it used to be.
From the doorway it goes like this. She stands at the dresser. Some ladies reach straight back for the hooks. Most hook it in front, spin it around, and then pull their elbows back for the straps. One shoulder won’t go back the way it used to. She misses and tries again.
For those few seconds her arms are back there. Nothing is free to catch her. That’s the minute of my visit I worry about most.
I took care of Susie’s mother for the last three years of her life. One morning I was behind her, fighting those hooks, and I said out loud, “Whoever put these hooks back here never had to reach them at 88.”
Susie was in the doorway with her coffee. She had spent years at one of the biggest makers of women’s bras. She just nodded.
“That bra was never made for her, Peggy. Every bra in the store was made to fit a 25-year-old.”
Then she went home and started cutting fabric. Since that morning I watch my ladies get dressed differently. These are the 5 signs I look for now.
🔄 The Trick Almost Everyone Learns
WARNING SIGN 1: YOU SPIN IT AROUND, BUT YOUR ELBOWS STILL GO BACK FOR THE STRAPS
If you do this, you’re in good company. One woman over 80 told Susie’s, “Have to hook in front and turn it around to slip up straps.”
Hook it around your belly where you can see it. Spin the band around to the back. Pull the cups up into place.
Now watch the last step. To get into each strap, your elbow goes back and up, one at a time, like you’re pulling on a coat. That’s your shoulder reaching back.
You’re standing. The band is twisted around your ribs. Your sore shoulder is doing the reaching. The spin didn’t take the reach out. It just moved it to the straps.
And if that strap takes more than one try, you already have Sign 2.
⏱️ The 20-Second Test
WARNING SIGN 2: IT TAKES MORE THAN ONE TRY, AND YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH
Count your tries tomorrow. One? Two? Five? A lot of my ladies hold their breath while they feel around back there.
Try the test I give them. Do it now, sitting down.
Put one hand behind your back, palm out. Slide it up your spine as far as it goes without hurting. Stop there.
If your hand stopped at your waist, that shoulder has lost the reach it used to have. And it shows up every morning, whichever way you put your bra on.
If you reach back for the hooks, you’re aiming at a spot up between your shoulder blades that your hand can’t really get to anymore. That’s the extra tries, and the hooks done on the wrong row.
If you spin it, it’s the same shoulder pulling your elbow back into the strap. That’s why the strap catches and you try again.
Susie’s buyers say the same. One wrote, “I have arthritis in my hands and it literally hurts to put on a regular bra.” Another said her old bras were “Too painful to put on and take off.”
Every extra try is more time standing up with your arms back there. And while your arms are busy, watch what the rest of you does.
💍 Dottie’s Jewelry Dish
WARNING SIGN 3: YOU LEAN ON THE DRESSER WHILE YOUR ARMS ARE BACK THERE
When your arms go back, where does the rest of you go? Most of my ladies lean a hip into the dresser and never notice. Your body wants something to hold, and your hands are busy.
Dottie is 84, and she’s one of my ladies. She spins hers around, like most of them do. One morning last winter the strap twisted as she pulled her arm back into it. She twisted after it. Her slipper slid on the rug. She let go and grabbed the dresser. Her jewelry dish went over, and her rings rolled under the bed.
She never told her daughter. She told me two weeks later, and only because I asked about the bruise on her arm.
The CDC says about 1 in 4 adults 65 and older fall each year. I think about that number every time I walk in on a lady at her dresser with her arms stuck behind her.
After a morning like Dottie’s, most of my ladies do the same thing next. They stop putting the bra on.
🧶 The Sweater By The Door
WARNING SIGN 4: SOME DAYS IT STAYS ON THE DRESSER AND THE CARDIGAN GOES ON
On a bad shoulder day, you leave the bra on the dresser and pull a cardigan over your top. Then it’s two days a week. Then it’s most days.
Then the outings get shorter. Lunch with a friend moves to next week. One woman told Susie’s, “I simply hated to put a bra on to go out.”
Your family is counting too. The cardigan in July. The lunch you moved twice. The bra still on the dresser when they stop by at noon. They don’t say anything yet. They notice.
And one day, one of them stops noticing and steps in.
📞 The Phone Call Nobody Wants
WARNING SIGN 5: SOMEBODY ELSE HAS HOOKED IT FOR YOU, EVEN ONCE
If a daughter, a husband or a neighbor has done your hooks, even once, read this part twice. I’ve watched it go the same way over and over.
First, your daughter is visiting and hooks you up one morning. “Here, Mom, let me.” She saw how long you’d been trying.
Then the phone starts ringing at 9 every morning. “Just checking in. Are you dressed?”
Then she mentions, very gently, that somebody could come help in the mornings. A few weeks later her brother says it straight out. “Mom, should you still be living on your own?”
I know where that road goes, because I’m the one who comes next.
For six years I hooked Ruth’s bra. Every Tuesday. Ruth is 89, and her left shoulder won’t go up past her ear. She’d sit on the edge of her bed in her housecoat with the bra in her lap, waiting for me.
Ruth is the proudest woman I know, and she hated every Tuesday of it. I don’t want to be the one doing your hooks. I’d rather you never needed anybody for that.
Ruth doesn’t wait for me anymore. To see how she got there, you have to know who her bra was made for.
🧵 Made For Somebody 50 Years Younger
WHO YOUR BRA WAS MADE FOR
Remember the test from Sign 2? I’ve had my ladies do it for years. Almost nobody over 75 gets her hand past her waist. Her bra hooks sit up between her shoulder blades.
They’re up there because every bra pattern starts on one young body, the fit model, almost always in her twenties. The hooks go in the middle of her back because that’s where they lie flat. Her hand slides up there without a thought, and her elbows go back without a twinge.
Most of us lose some of that reach as the years go by, and that’s normal. Nobody ever moved the hooks to match.
So if getting dressed has gotten harder, nothing is wrong with you. You’re wearing a bra made for a body 50 years younger.
What about the bras that move the hooks around? Ruth tried those first.
🛒 What My Ladies Tried First
THE USUAL FIXES, AND WHY NONE OF THEM LASTED
“Can’t I just buy a front-hook bra?” You can. Ruth had three. The clasp is stiff to pinch with sore fingers, and you still put it on like a coat, so one elbow goes back for the second strap.
A bra extender gives you more room. The hooks are still in the back.
A pull-over sports bra is tight on the way down. It rolls up and traps your arms, elbows up by your ears.
Going without fixes the hooks, but nothing holds you, and the cardigan stays on all day.
My ladies needed something that holds them and goes on sitting down, with nothing behind their backs. When I told Susie that, she already had fabric on her kitchen table.
🪑 One Try, Sitting Down
WHAT RUTH PULLS ON NOW, SITTING ON HER BED
Susie made a tank top with a bra built right in. No hooks, no clasp, no band and no wire. It goes on over your head. It’s called the Susie’s Built-in Bra Comfort Tank.
“Over my head?” Ruth said. “Like those sports bras?” Fair question. A sports bra has a tight elastic band that grabs your skin and rolls up. This tank has no band. It’s soft, stretchy nylon and spandex, snug but never tight, so it slides down instead of rolling.
I told Susie the real test had to be Ruth. The first sample stood away from Ruth’s sides, because that pattern was cut for a young body too. Susie threw it out and started over, on Ruth, then June, then more of my ladies and her friends, 70 to 89. I drove Ruth to Susie’s kitchen most Tuesdays for those fittings.
The day the last sample was done, Ruth sat on the edge of her bed with it. I stood back with my hands in my pockets. Over her head, good arm, then the bad one. Tug, tuck. One try.
She held up one finger at me and grinned.
Picture tomorrow morning like that. You’re dressed before your coffee gets cold, and nobody had to come over.
It won’t stop a fall, and nothing you wear can. It takes the reach out of your morning, so nothing goes behind your back.
GETTING IT ON AND OFF, PLAIN FACTS
My ladies do it one of two ways. Both start sitting on the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor.
Way 1: over your head.
1. Sit on the edge of your bed. 2. Bunch the tank up in both hands, all the way down to the neck hole. 3. Pull it over your head. 4. Put your good arm through. 5. Now the other arm, low and in front of you. 6. Tug it down over your belly. Tuck the hem in when you pull up your slacks.
Way 2: if your shoulder won’t lift, step in and pull it up.
1. Sit on the edge of your bed. 2. Hold the tank open at the top with both hands. It stretches. 3. Step both feet in. 4. Pull it up past your knees, like your slacks. Lean side to side to work it up past your hips. 5. Slip each arm into its strap, low and in front of you.
No hooks either way. Your arms never go behind you. With Way 2, they never go over your head either.
To take it off, sit down, slide your good arm out, lift it over your head, then slip it off the other arm.
The first couple of mornings, your hand may still reach back for a band that isn’t there. That’s habit. It passes.
I’ve watched my ladies dress both ways for months now.
Dottie tried hers the Monday after Susie dropped them off. She didn’t go near the dresser. She sat on her bed with both slippers flat on the rug. Over her head, right arm, then the left one, low. She stopped once to pull the hem straight. It took her under a minute. When I left, her rings were still sitting in the dish.
One lady I see on Thursdays is 79. Her husband did her hooks the last few years, since her shoulder went. After he passed, she started sleeping in her bra so she wouldn’t have to ask anybody. Last Thursday I let myself in at 8. She was already at the kitchen table, tank on under her blouse, coffee poured. “I did it before you knocked,” she said.
WHAT BUYERS TOLD SUSIE’S ABOUT GETTING DRESSED
Susie’s asks every woman who orders why she bought. One buyer has had 4 shoulder surgeries. She pulls hers up. Here is what she wrote, word for word:
- “Pulling them up to put them on allows me to follow movement restrictions. Wide shoulder straps are self-adjusting and don’t dig in.”
- “I’ve had them almost 3 weeks.”
- “My 78th birthday is next week!”
Four shoulder surgeries. Rules about how she’s allowed to move. She pulls it up, and it works for her.
💪 June Was The Hardest Test
IT STILL HOLDS A 42DDD, WITH NOTHING BEHIND YOUR BACK
June is 71 and wears a 42DDD. She swore nothing without hooks and a wire would ever hold her.
The molded cups, the wide flat straps and the long, snug body share the weight, so it holds and shapes her with no wire at all.
June wore it to a long family dinner, three hours on her feet in the kitchen. “Never hiked a strap once,” she told me. She dressed herself for it, sitting on her bed, and drove herself there.
Susie’s says more than 50,000 women have ordered it since those fittings.
On Susie’s page, women say they forget it’s even on. For my ladies, it starts before that. They put it on themselves.
WHAT WOMEN WHO WEAR IT TELL ME
These are a few of the women who wear it. You’ll see them again on Susie’s page.
“My old bra was halfway up my back by the time I got to the grocery store. This one stays put if I tuck it in my slacks. It doesn’t lift me like my underwire did. It just stays where it is, which is what I wanted.”
Barbara, 69 · Size 2XLVerified Customer
“A strap used to slide down every time I reached. Now I just reach, smooth and go, no readjusting all day.”
Susan D.Verified Customer
“Tucked in it stays down all day. Untucked it creeps up when I bend over, so I tuck it. Took me a couple days to stop reaching back for a band that isn’t there.”
Carol, 71 · Size LVerified Customer
“The back bulge my old bra dug in for years? Gone. Smooth across, and I feel good from behind again.”
Linda M.Verified Customer
THE QUESTIONS WOMEN ASK ME FIRST
Short answers, the way I’d give them at the bedside.
“My shoulder won’t go up past my ear. Can I still get it on?”
Yes. Ruth’s won’t either. Sit on the bed edge, put it over your head, then your good arm. The bad arm goes in last, low and forward. If it won’t lift at all, step in from your feet and pull it up instead. Nothing goes behind your back.
“Will I get stuck in it taking it off, like a sports bra?”
No. There’s no tight band to roll up and trap your arms. It’s soft and stretchy the whole way off.
“Will it hold me if I’m big up top?”
June wears a 42DDD, and she was the hardest test. It holds and shapes you with no wire and nothing digging in.
“What size do I get?”
Go by your weight, then check your bust. No band number and no cup letter. It comes in S to 6XL, and the size finder is on Susie’s page. Between two sizes, take the larger one.
“What if it doesn’t work for me?”
Every tank from susies.co comes with the 90-Day Guarantee. Email Support@susies.co, and a real person reads it.
🏡 The Woman In The Doorway
WHO YOU’RE BUYING FROM
Susie is 67, and before Susie’s she spent years inside one of the biggest bra makers there is. She made the first tank at her own kitchen table and tried every one on women 70 to 89 before she sold a single one. I was in that kitchen for most of it, and nobody there was 25.
WHAT THEY KEEP IN THEIR DRAWERS
Once the last sample was done, every woman Susie fitted ordered three: one to wear, one in the wash and one in the drawer.
Right now Susie’s is running the Early Black Friday Sale. It’s Buy 2, Get 1 Free, or Buy 3, Get 2 Free. Shipping is free in the US, and you can mix colors.
There’s a clock on Susie’s page for that sale, and the popular sizes go first. If your size is in stock today, that’s when I’d get it.
On their page it’s called the Comfort Shaper Tank. It’s the same tank Ruth and June tried on in Susie’s kitchen.
It’s only sold at susies.co, not on Amazon or in stores. Some sites copy the photos and mail out a thin cami with loose pads.
The 90-Day Guarantee
Put it on tomorrow morning. Sitting down. One try. Every tank from susies.co comes with the 90-Day Guarantee.
Susie’s Built-In Bra Comfort Shaper Tank
Early Black Friday Sale · Buy 2, Get 1 Free · Free US shipping
- Nothing goes behind your back: no hooks, no clasp, no band
- Pulls on over your head, or steps in and pulls up, sitting on the bed
- Soft and stretchy, snug but never tight
- Tried on women aged 70 to 89 before it was sold
- Holds and shapes a full D and up, with no wire
- Sizes S to 6XL. Ordered by 50,000+ women
90-Day Guarantee.
CHECK AVAILABILITY →Free US shipping · 90-Day Guarantee · Only at susies.co
THE WAY I SEE IT NOW
You can close this page and keep going the way you are. Tomorrow you stand at the dresser in a bra made for a 25-year-old. You spin it or reach straight back. A hip leans on the dresser. You try again.
I’ve watched where that goes. First the extra tries. Then the cardigan and the lunch you moved. Then one morning somebody else is doing your hooks, and the phone starts ringing at 9.
Or you can do what Ruth, June and Dottie did. Sit on the edge of your bed, pull it on over your head or up from your feet, tuck it in and go about your day on your own.
I’d fix this while you can still do it yourself.
Peggy
P.S.
Ruth wears hers every Tuesday when I come by. The other week she told Susie, “You should’ve started with me.” I haven’t done Ruth’s hooks since.
P.P.S. Try the reach test tonight, sitting down. If your hand stops at your waist, that’s your sign. It doesn’t matter if you hook it in back or spin it around. It’s the same shoulder.
Early Black Friday Sale: Buy 2, Get 1 Free. Free US shipping. 90-Day Guarantee.
A 25-year-old fit model. That explains 50 years of bras that never fit me once.
I hook mine in front and turn it around, then wiggle the straps up. Every morning. I thought that was the safe way. Never thought about my arms going back.
Is this a real company? I don’t buy from anybody I can’t call.
Hi Gloria! We’re real. Susie is 67, and she still reads a lot of these herself. We only sell on susies.co, you can write us at Support@susies.co, and every tank comes with our 90-Day Guarantee.
Does it come in 3XL? I’m big up top and everything I own digs in.
Hi Marjorie! It goes from S to 6XL. Go by your weight, then check your bust. The size finder is right above the sizes. No band number, no cup letter.
I’m 86 with a shoulder like Ruth’s. If she got it on in one try, I’m ordering.
My mom is 82 and stopped wearing bras two years ago because of her hands. Ordered her three. She called me and said, “Finally somebody asked women our age.”
I almost bought one on Amazon last month that looked just like this. Same picture and everything. Is that one yours?
Hi Elaine! That one isn’t ours. We only sell on susies.co, not on Amazon or in stores. Our 90-Day Guarantee only covers tanks bought from susies.co.
I ran a dress shop for 25 years. Every bra we got in was sampled on a girl in her twenties. My older ladies never stood a chance.
I’m 78 and my hands are bad. Ordered 2 and got the third free.