It Isn't Fat: 7 Things A 30-Year Bra Fitter Told Me About The Roll On My Back

1. That Roll On Your Back Isn't Fat. It's Your Band.

For thirty-one years I thought the rolls above and below my bra band were weight. I dieted. I lost eleven pounds. They didn't move an inch.

Bev explained it in about a minute. A bra hangs everything on two thin straps and one tight band. To hold you up, the band has to squeeze. When it squeezes, the soft skin on your back has nowhere to go but up over it and down under it.

"After 60 the skin gets softer and the band digs deeper," she said. Take the band away and the rolls go with it. Same body. Same weight. No band, no rolls. I lost thirty-one years of photographs to something that was never a body problem.

2. My Blouses Hang Straight Down My Back Again

I'll admit this is the vain one.

In Bev's guest room I turned around in the mirror and saw one smooth line from my shoulders to my waist. No ridge where the band sits. No tugging my blouse down before anyone takes a picture.

I'd spent a small fortune on minimizers and longer bands. Every one of them squeezed harder and did less.

3. Bras Were Designed For A 25-Year-Old Body

This is the part that made me angry. "They haven't changed since the fifties," Bev said. "We just kept selling them to women whose bodies did." A bra forces the whole weight of your chest onto three narrow points, two straps and one band. The softer your skin, the deeper those points dig.

The support runs through the whole garment instead of hanging off two straps and one tight band, so no single point carries the load and nothing digs in anywhere.

I'm a 38DD, and I was sure a tank top couldn't hold me. It does. No bounce on the stairs, no spilling over, nothing pressing into my ribs by lunchtime.

4. You Order By Your Top Size, Not Your Bra Size

That department store fitter told me I'd been in the wrong size my whole life. Bev says nearly every woman she measured in thirty years was too. I've been measured four times and walked out with four different sizes.

With these you go by your usual top size, up to 6XL. No band number. No cup letter. And if it isn't right, they swap the size free within 90 days.

5. I Stopped Counting Down To Taking My Bra Off

Three o'clock used to be when I started counting down. The straps were digging in. The band was tight. I was already thinking about getting home and taking my bra off.

With this tank, three o'clock comes and goes. No hooks. No underwire. No band tightening after lunch. Twice now I have gone to bed in it because I forgot I was wearing it.

I did not realize how much of my day I spent waiting to be comfortable.

6. I'm Cooler. The Band Was Where All The Heat Sat

A band wraps elastic tight around your ribcage for twelve hours at a stretch. It tightens more after lunch, and by the end of the day you know exactly where it sat, a damp line you peel off your skin.

If you run hot, if you throw the covers off at two in the morning, if you dread July because of what a bra does to your back and ribs by mid afternoon, that is the band, not you.

There's no band here. Nothing wrapped tight around your ribs all day. I hadn't noticed how warm I'd been until I stopped being warm.

7. At 77, I Can Get Dressed Without A Fight

My shoulders don't reach behind me the way they used to. Some mornings the hooks took me three tries, and I'd be tired before I'd even made the coffee.

This one pulls on over your head. That is the whole procedure. No clasp, no hooks, no reaching.

It takes ten seconds now. Bev was right about all of it. I just wish someone had told me thirty-one years ago.

Before I ordered, I did what you are probably doing right now: I googled the company and hunted for reviews. Over 50,000 American women have ordered these tanks. This reply landed on one of my posts months ago and it has been on my fridge as a screenshot ever since.